Better Late Than Never

 So, first session back at uni after our Christmas break, the beginning of Level 5 (2nd Year in my head). Just a brief introduction to the next module to get us started again. However, part of the materials used for our learning today were the blogs of a couple of Level 6 students from our Social Work Apprenticeship programme, which got me thinking. I always struggle to discuss my feelings and people often seem shocked when I do finally discuss my own thoughts and how my mind is constantly in overdrive. Maybe this is the format for me, I can express my thoughts and feelings in writing and they will be there to reflect upon in the future, for both good and bad times. If people want to read them as well, by all means, who knows who it might help, or even provide a brief chuckle! There is nothing to lose and only things to gain.

As my blog title suggests, I am not the most organised person in the world. I would love to think I am, and try to give people that perception, but my wife and family will 100% confirm, this is a mask. I always forget birthdays, often plan on doing something, then don't because I get distracted. So let's see if this helps clear my head a little, and might even give me little prompts along the way! I plan (no commitment here) to quickly blog once a week after my university session (every Thursday) just to discuss how that session went, how it has made me feel, and how I have tried to juggle this around my other commitments and work and my family. I would be amazed if I manage to keep this up every week, but let's see it as my new year's resolution.

So, as I said, first week back, brief intro. Nothing too heavy in terms of academic learning or social work theory, but expectations for the next module, oh man. I'm already missing that Christmas break when we are discussing professional conversations (I admit, I still don't know what that is), and a reflective assignment! Nothing like the thought a role play like scenario to make you look forward to the next few weeks, but as we were told last year about our exams, the anticipation is worse than the reality! I must remember to look back at this in a few weeks after the first professional conversarion and see if it's true. However, whilst we are discussing this, I have also had a message from my wife to let me know that our eldest son is stating that he doesn't want to go into school today, and has got so worked up that he feels sick. Now I won't go into all the details (it would take ages) but this has been an ongoing issue for 2-3 months now at least, and we have just had a really positive week, so I am gutted. However, not unexpected as his nighttime routine is very unsettled at the moment and his sister has stayed off school today due to not feeling well. So, whilst listening to the lecturer discuss the expectations of our assessments I am also trying to support my wife in how we agree as a team to deal with this and support our son. First juggling act of the new academic year done ✅️

Morning done, panic regarding the professional conversations over for the moment, there is a few weeks until the first one so pointless worrying just yet! Afternoon session, a brief discussion on our upcoming placements. Now, to be honest, I'm not too worried about the actual placement it self, I can cope with change if it is planned and I know that the team I am going to are nice and apportion from the Year 6 apprentice who was placed there last year and also a Year 5 apprentice who currently works in the team. But already I am worrying about how I can manage this placement with my ever changing family situation. Can I still do school runs in the morning as my eife might need to pick up extra shifts in morning club? What about if I need to pick up my son early from school due to an incident of which were regular at the end of last year? What about school run at the end of the day when my wife is working? So many questions which I don't have answers for at moment. Right ok, learner agreement plan meeting (or something like that), must remember to discuss these things at that point! My memory can't fail me there as these are important. Then just I am packing up to come home, message from my wife to say that my eldest has been having an outburst as his sister hurt him. This is his way of expressing himself currently, if he is hurt he seems to need you to feel how much pain he is in, and to physically express his anger. This is an ongoing learning curve for us as a family, but we are learning and we will get there to support him and us a family.

Now however, my wife has had to go to work and leave the kids with her mom, so I've got a 45 min drive to collect them hoping that I don't get a phone call. But I arrive and no issues, they are all upstairs with their nan, watching something and eating a huge bag of jelly babies (Nan's house, nan's rules apparently). I must have more faith in them all, just because there had been an incident, it doesn't mean there will be another, and my anticipation of another incident is likely to spead into the kids and may make a durthe rincident more likely! Glass half full Gareth, glass half full!

So now it's bed time, I've watched the Liverpool cup game whilst waiting for the eldest to fall asleep (wife has settled the younger 2) and now I'm watching the Social Work Student Connects webinar on deathmaking whilst thebeldest is still awake and struggling to settle, but he is definately a mommy's boy and she is now lying down with him and he is slwoly drifting off (it's 23:00). Gosh, it has got me thinking and especially as my eldest is in the process of potentially being diagnosed with autism, and how this may impact on his opportunities moving forward. But I refuse to let that happen to him, I will do my utmost to prevent him from being oppressed or discriminated against. Life with a disability must be challenging enough as it is, without having others, and the systems we have in place, increase those challenges. And now I have my apprentice hat on as well and thinking whether I could use this topic for part of the first module learning outcomes; intersectionality, social work values, anti-oppressive practice, discrimination.

Man, I wish my head would switch off at times, but nope, I've not decided to write a blog! Oh well, only time will tell if this helps me to keep my mind organised and whether it aids my own mental health!! Fingers crossed ay!! Until next time...